11 Jul 2013

Luis Alberto arrested in kidnapping scandal...along with Luis Suarez, Pepe Reina and Fernando Torres (Humour)

Shock news: Luis Alberto was arrested on Tuesday morning after allegedly attacking his girlfriend with a dog leash.

According to Masslive:

"Police arrested [Alberto] after he allegedly held his estranged girlfriend against her will overnight, and repeatedly...hit her with a dog leash. Alberto...was charged with kidnapping, assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, (dog leash), assault and battery and assault with a dangerous weapon (a knife)".

Bang to rights, then!

You've probably guessed that this is not the Luis Alberto who recently signed for Liverpool (!) It's actually some guy in Springfield, Massachusetts.

Alberto is not the only one - there's a veritable rogue's gallery of criminals out there in the world with the same names as some of Liverpool's most well-known players. Check these out:

John Aldridge

This is Gloucestershire reports:

"John Aldridge was arrested on suspicion of stealing a digger following raids in the Cotswolds and Oxfordshire last month. Thames Valley Police arrested Mr Aldridge after a suspected stolen JCB was found in a swoop on his scrap metal business".

Tommy Smith

According to the inimitable Arkansas Times:

"Tommy Smith...was arrested today...and booked on several charges, including failure to stop after an accident, DWI, refusal to submit to a chemical test, drinking in public and possession of a controlled substance"

Ian Rush

The endlessly fascinating Costa Del Crime reports:

"Ian Rush yesterday denied allegations that he continued the trade of a Lowestoft company after its owners were arrested for involvement in supplying boats to drug smugglers. Rush, 43, told Ipswich Crown Court that while the business he set up produced the same type of high-speed craft at the same site in the town, he did nothing illegal".

Danny Murphy

Rockingham County court reports reveal:

"Members of the Sheriff's Office and Special Agent Charlie W. Moore of the Virginia State Police arrested Danny Murphy...in the residence of Rochette Hairston at 30 South Barton Street".

Pepe Reina

The Miami-Dade District Attorney's office confirmed:

"Jose Reina was arrested in Miami, Florida in December for making forged driving licences".

Gary Gillespie

The AFSC reports:

"Those arrested from AFSC were Gary Gillespie...and assigned a trial date in federal court on July 21, with an option to pay, within 21 days, a $50 fine to avoid a trial. Some of those arrested, however, suggested that the $50 protest tax should not be paid and that instead the money be given to a relief fund for victims of the war in Yugoslavia".

Daniel Pacheco

As reported by the Albuquerque Journal:

Daniel Pacheco was arrested on Friday, and is facing a burglary charge after allegedly relieving his neighbour of an X-Box 360. The The neighbor reported earlier this month that his Southwest Albuquerque house had been burglarized and an Xbox 360 and other related equipment were missing. The victim later saw Pacheco playing on his gamer tag and believed he was connected with the burglary."

Luis Garcia

"A statement by the Virgin Islands Police Department confirmed:

"Bike Patrol officers arrested 29-year-old Luis Garcia on Thursday, September 22 and charged him with Burglary III and Grand Larceny. Police said Garcia and another suspect, who was arrested Monday, were responsible for a series of burglaries."

David Burrows

A news release from the U.S. Marshals Service reveals:

30-year-old David Burrows was found and arrested at 2265 E. 56th Ave. on Tuesday and is being held pending extradition or other court proceedings. Burrows is charged in Memphis with first-degree murder and perpetration of aggravated kidnapping".

John Barnes

The never less-than riveting Alliance Defence Fund reports:

"On June 14, police threatened to arrest John Barnes and several other Christians for wearing shirts with the message “Liberated by the blood of Jesus,” handing out literature, holding up signs on a public sidewalk surrounding the event, and speaking with event attendees about their faith. The event was held in a city park and was open to the general public, making the police’s suppression of Barnes’ expression unconstitutional".

Craig Johnston

According to Victoria court reports:

"Former AMWU Victorian secretary Craig Johnston was jailed for nine months by the Victorian Supreme Court on August 27 for taking part in brief occupations of the premises of Skilled Engineering and Johnson Tiles during an industrial dispute over job cuts in 2001".

Fernando Torres

The Harris County Examiner reports:

"Fernando Torres was arrested on a charge of driving with a suspended license on May 12, 2011".

Steve McMahon

As reported by the Post-Standard in Syracuse:

"Steve McMahon was charged Tuesday with criminal impersonation, a class A misdemeanor, said Baldwinsville Police Chief Michael Lefancheck. McMahon, who is with the Lysander Bipartisan Coalition, is accused of gaining political strategies by impersonating Lysander Republican Coalition Chairman."

Luis Suarez

According to the Staten Island Advance:

"Dominick Caminiti of the Gang Squad was the lead investigator and arresting officer for the bust, which rounded up Luis Suarez...as part of an 18-month investigation dubbed 'Operation Across the Bridge'"

Jose Enrique

As revealed by an Osceola County Sheriff's Department circular:

"Osceola detectives have arrested Jose Enrique...and Yovany Lee Aponte and charged them with multiple counts of Burglary, Grand Theft and Criminal Mischief".

Oh, and my favourite:

Glen Johnson

Reuters reports:

"Glen Johnson has been arrested and fined by police for trying to steal a toilet seat and bath taps from a B&Q store in Kent".

Oh, wait...

NOTE: Please stick to the Comment Policy (Click to read)


  1. Haha! Good article...I heard Raheem Sterling is breaking a few laws with that Dodgy haircut of his ;)

  2. really you have too much spare time Jamie lol

  3. Jamie kanwar
    I always thought you were a prick and yes I was right. Not for this self absorbing (I need people to read my this? And that?? But you are a cretin I suggest people never visit your crap rubbish nonsensicle dribble carry on.
    You are venturing into The Scum territory with your flimsy garb.
    I've been monitoring your bore and now (for the first time and last) will never comment nor visit hence read your shit.

  4. You should add owners to the list? I know a couple of them that should be done for near ruining a footie club. Lol.

  5. Hehe. Didn't know about that Glen Johnson story!

  6. Stuart Campbell9:59 pm, July 11, 2013

    No mention then of a Jaimee Kanwar who was caught impersonating a journalist..........(only joking-honest)

  7. I may be wrong, but I don't believe that's a crime.

  8. Much more entertaining article than those pointless, baseless transfer rumours.

  9. Brendan Rogers signed 2 players in january and said he was expecting 1 more ..it never happened , now he has signed 4 and is expecting 2 more...i cant believe we are all expecting that to happen..lol...(just for laughs)

  10. Well, I'd be extremely disappointed, if we didn't bring in more players. So far out net spend this transfer window must be close to zero.

  11. True that the net spend is zero, but keep in mind a large portion is because we sold Andy Carroll.

    I wouldn't have a problem if our net spend is zero as long as we are reinforcing the squad while also getting rid of what amounts to being dead weight (Carroll, Spearing, Shelvey) that wouldn't play here anyway.

    And of course if Suarez is sold, then we need to reinvest that.

    The club is still approx 80m in debt. It's not such a terrible thing if we can get that number down a bit without spending wildly on transfers, though the best way is to get to the Champions League which would bring in a slew of revenue.

  12. We are expecting £3-£4m on friday from Cardiff for Ince.

  13. oh jaimie i know i said lighten up and have a bit of fun ,but on second thoughts stick to the real topics ;-) keep up the good work

  14. Liverpool FC is breeding criminals!!!

  15. Jamie Kanwar arrested by Midlands police for nonce like behaviour, in the early hours of....

  16. Thts actually the real Suarez. Hahah

  17. So we would have earned more than spent, at least when not considering agent and signing fees.

  18. I'm all for having no debt at all, and for getting back into the CL, but to do so we may need to bring in at least a couple of really good players.

  19. Ince has rejected Cardiff

  20. heard that coates has also been arrested at melwood he has been charged with impersonating a footballer