Gerard Houllier - RIP :-(

8 Jul 2014

Hansen blasts: 'Diabolical' £50m star gave the 'worst performance I've ever seen'. Karma?

Liverpool legend Alan Hansen never wastes an opportunity to stick the knife into ex-Chelsea 'defender' David Luiz, and at various times over the last few years, he's described the Brazilian's defending as 'embarrassing', 'ridiculous', and 'farcical'. Well, after Germany's incredible 7-1 annihilation of Brazil this evening, Christmas has well and truly come early for Hansen, and the former LFC captain didn't disappoint with his stinging analysis.

After witnessing Brazil's worst ever World Cup defeat, Hansen immediately laid the lion's share of blame at Luiz's door. He scathed:

"In the annals of time there has never been a humiliation like this. [Luiz] has given the worst performance I've ever seen. Absolutely diabolical; just no reaction to anything".

Listen carefully; do you hear a frenzied rustling sound? That's PSG's lawyers frantically scouring Luiz's new contract in a desperate bid to find a magic loophole that'll allow them to rescind the deal.

£50m for Luiz? Seriously, what a bunch of mugs. I never thought I'd see the day when Andy Carroll would slip to second in the list of 'world's worst ever transfers', but here we are.

The result is a tragedy for Brazil, but I'm personally ecstatic that they're out of the tournament. Any goodwill for the host nation disintegrated after Paulinho et al totally ruined the Colombia quarter-final with their endless cynical fouling, and disgraceful targeting of James Rodriguez.

You reap what you sow, and this is football karma in action. The universe has decreed that dirty tactics will not triumph at this World Cup, and Brazil's elimination is a much-needed victory for the beautiful game.

With any luck, the universe will also retaliate against the Netherlands tomorrow night. Self-confessed super-cheat Arjen Robben cannot be allowed prosper, and Argentina will hopefully spank the Dutch into World Cup oblivion.

Author:


58 comments:

  1. Fantasic piece! I wanted Germany to spank Brazil, but I never expected the brutal beating they handed out. It was a joy to watch.
    P.S. Luiz is utter garbage

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  2. If I was Cesar I would have a stern work with Luis and that defence that left him shockingly exposed the entire game
    Wasn't sure if I was watching the semi-final of the World Cup or a lengthy replay of me vs. my roomate in Fifa!

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  3. Chris Rossington11:55 pm, July 08, 2014

    hear hear!!

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  4. Made me laugh reading you talking about never

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  5. Ironically, if Suarez was staying, Sanchez may have signed for LFC. Without Suarez, there's practically zero attraction for other players (when it comes to players). Okay, there's Gerrard, but he'll be gone soon.

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  6. Useless Brazil made Germany feel super-good. Apart from the Portugal game, Germany never impressed me but Brazil never looked good throughout the tournament but they were a disgrace to soccer today. Apart from Neymar, Thiago Silva and maybe Oscar, Brazil has no stars. The talent in the Brazilian team has been very appalling

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  7. I was crying right along side Luiz during his post-butt kicking interview. I was laughing so hard the tears would not stop. Hate that guy...he'll always be a Chelski chump to me...no matter who is stupid enough to pay for him.

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  8. I'm in full agreement.

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  9. Only Rafa Benitez realized that Luiz is not a central defender but a defensive midfielder.

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  10. That's the real cost of failing to win the PL last season. WE could find ourselves back on our original timescale for achievement unless BR gets it almost completely right this window.
    Rather £25-28m for Hummels than £20m for Lovren, but we lack the final bit of stardust needed to get the very best

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  11. Agreed, Karma. You reap what you sow. After what the did to Colombia, I am happy Brazil got paid back.

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  12. I loved this post just for the public dig at your roommate.

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  13. Nope Hummels is not leaving.
    Don't get your Hopes up.

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  14. Jackson Martinez yesterday tweeted, "Gracias Liverpool" a lot of papers reported it, so Martinez said he had no offer from Liverpool, but why would he tweet that. ?

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  15. I really Hope Germany make an appeal at FIFA for Luiz' vicious swipe at Müller and get him banned for a couple of games. He honestly tried to break his legs!!
    I don't care if that rubs salt in Brazil's wounds, you get what you deserve!

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  16. On another note, I hear FIFA is to investigate why Luis and Brazil played so poorly

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  17. Big Beatles fan.

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  18. Let's hope they're up to date on their bribes.

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  19. Let it be.

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  20. Germany have done pretty well without a starplayer in this world cup (and so have bayern the last few season to some extent).
    Even though it's great to sign a big names getting to right player to make the team tick is the most important thing for the club.

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  21. We need another striker with imagination like Suarez...who can create things nobody else sees and who is comfortable alone. I really like that Joel Campbell kid. He seems to have the same imagination Suarez has.

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  22. he's an Arsenal player (he was on loan) don't think Wenger would accept to let him go after that world cup

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  23. Meh, one game doesn't mean much and if you say that he had Hazard in his pocket against Belgium because at the highest level he has always dissapoint.

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  24. Peter from Perth WA2:12 am, July 09, 2014

    Former Liverpool defender Jamie Carragher has claimed that Luis Suarez is the best striker he’s ever played with ... I now feel exonerated in my praise of Luis.

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  25. Although we may not like it but LS is indeed an attraction for star players.

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  26. Thank God Coutinho wasn't part of that fiasco, it's the sort of event that can break some players. Any Brazilian who "missed out" on the World Cup must now be thanking their lucky stars to not be part of a team to go down in history as that useless bunch who gave up at 2-0 in a semi final as the host nation and got stuffed 7-1.

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  27. I thought the same. It's lucky Mueller is smart enough to have seen that coming, otherwise Luiz would have kicked his kneecap into the stands. Pretty disgusting behaviour. Chelsea played a blinder offloading him to PSG for that fee. Congratulations.

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  28. Very true. Neymar and thiago silva got a lucky escape too I reckon. Had they been playing it may not have been such a trouncing but the way Germany played tonight they'd have still turned them over

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  29. Not sure if Neymar was lucky given the injury he's sustained, but I know what you mean. Quite a few of those players who participated (I won't say played) will probably not represent Brazil again.

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  30. True that. I live in Belgium and most Belgians would admit that Hazard, unlike Messi or Ronaldo, is not a player who you'd build your team around. He's a good player but nothing more than that.

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  31. I had to pinch myself a few times. That was the most one-sided annihilation I've seen since Liverpool v Arsenal. And yeah, Luiz was awful, constantly out of position and leaving yawning holes in Brazil's defence.

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  32. Luiz and Dante pairing were all over the place,Dante probably thought he was at the trg camp in Munich with all his mates from Bayern and went real easy on them......

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  33. He was truly awful last night. It was like he didn't want to play in any particular position, and just ran around having a laugh.

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  34. David Luiz was already Majorly overpriced before the World Cup and everyone knew it. That Match just Proves it to the ones who didn't think so.
    He is not a centre half! He has all the Attributes of a defensive midfielder, something Benitez realizes but the "Arrogant One" didn't. He always loses his Temper as well and can't Control himself, or organised his Defense. A player like that should not be Worth more than 15 Mio £, Tops.

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  35. I knew Germany would beat Brazil but not nowhere near the 7-1 scoreline, I wish I put a £5 on that (big spender) . In relation to David Luiz's £50 million price it's laughable. I bet Mourinho is rubbing his hands and laughing like a mastermind criminal as he has duped P.S.G. I can't make up my mind what position Luiz is supposed to be? He seems to me to be better suited as a DM as he spends most of the match a mile out of the CB position. Some commentators attributed the loss to a lack of quality in the Brazil team, what total rubbish! Hulk £39m, Neymar £33m, Thiago Silva around £25m, (cough) David Luiz £50m, Oscar £22m, Willian £26m to name just a few. Then the players that didn't make the cut through not being chosen or injury like Firmino, Miranda, Filipe Luis, Pato, Marquinhos, Lucas Moura, Robinho, Diego, Kaka, Raffael, Everton Ribeiro, Felipe Melo, Jonas, Lucas Leiva, Sandro, Alex (AM), Alex (CB) Naldo, Coutinho, Rever, Lima, Damaio this list could go on. The blame lays at the feet of Scolari for opting for such negative tactics and selection errors like chosing to take David Luiz, Brazil clearly have the players to do the damage just not the man in charge who will allow them to play to there ability in that beautiful and expressive way we all expect from Brazil. Granted Scolari won a World Cup but even then his style was negative and at best lucky all those years ago, when you are loosing this kind of approach limits a teams ability to regain control of the game and these tactics become pointless and teams resort to blindly hoofing the ball up field. Brazil are crying out for an attack minded Manager who will let them play

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  36. Now Jackson Martinez to LFC would be a great signing

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  37. England 1 hungary 7 - wembley stadium - mr hanson

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  38. Beatles fan ?? Tevez etc loved the song - GIVE ME MONEY - THATS WHAT I WANT

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  39. David Luiz is the worst Brazilian since David Blunkett shaved his wife.

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  40. While I wanted Brazil to lose, think this almost went too far - I felt dirty, as though I was an accomplice to a crime, powerless to help the victims!
    Guess what this illustrates a couple things, 1 how crappy David Luiz is, and 2 how important leadership is. I have the impression that Scolari is not the greatest leader in the dressing room. But also, Thiago Silva is a true leader on the pitch, can organize his defense, and rally the troops when needed.
    That's something Liverpool need to look at - as it can make a huge difference - it's not just the skill one individual, but their ability to get the best of others, and keep a cool head.
    Still in disbelief about that - wow. The streets must be flooded in tears.

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  41. Frankly, Fifa probably won't, because the referee will say he say it and chose not to take action, therefore FIFA cannot take action. Sucks, but that's the rules FIFA have put in place.

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  42. Ironic that Pep Guardiola put his name forward for the Brazil job and got knocked back and the side that handed Brazil their worst defeat in history, let alone World Cup history, was a side where the core of the team is made up of players in a side that is managed by Pep Guardiola.

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  43. What do you mean without a star player? Neuer is the best gk in the world, they have a world class defender in Hummels, a world class fullback in Lahm, a world class midfield with Kroos, who is out of this world, Khedira, Ozil, up front they have Muller who will without a doubt break the new record set by Klose for world cup goals, and Schurrle on the bench, this side is jam packed full of stars and more than that, they are a star team.

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  44. Funny how on the international stage, De Bruyne is always the one that steps up and Hazard is the one that flatters to deceive.

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  45. Scolari left out perhaps the best defender in the world - Felipe Luis. He's had a brilliant season for Atletico but his face didn't fit. So Scolari got what was coming to him. Playing Dante - a big stumbling nonentity - played right into Germany's hands. Would love to see the Dutch beat Argentina tonight, but I suppose they won't. Only a matter of time before Rodgers lays down thirty mill for Fred - seems very much a Rodgers sort of player.

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  46. I'm sorry, but what has your comment got to do with either the comments or the article, the article is about Brazilian "defender" David Luiz aka Sideshow Bob, not Luis Suarez.

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  47. I cannot comprehend why a shrewd operator like Pep Guardiola perseveres with Dante.

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  48. i would check that score if I were you.

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  49. Just because of the price tags of these players, doesn't mean they are worth that price tag, Hulk is not a 39M player, Thiago Silva is a world class defender and may be worth 25M, Neymar is probably value for money at 33M, Oscar probably 22M, but he is by no means consistent enough, David Luiz, well, we all know about David Luiz and Willian hasn't produced often enough to be a 26M player. The commentators frankly were right, the team lacked quality, creativity, structure. You mention the players not taken due to injury or not being chosen, but they were not part of the World Cup squad and therefore not part of the team. You can speculate about those players that didn't make the squad all you like, but as far as the team/squad picked, they weren't good enough, simple as that.

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  50. What does this have to do with anything? This happened in 1954, this wasn't a World Cup match let alone a World Cup semi-final, let alone a World Cup final on home soil. And actually you are wrong. Hungary 7 - England 1 was played in Hungary, it was a return match that was played at Wembley that finished Hungary 6 - England 3.

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  51. Arsenal are hardly a team of galacticos mind you and he wants to go there.


    I think his decision was more to do with his wife and family preferring to move to London than Liverpool.

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  52. I wanted us to sign him before he went to Porto :(

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  53. Why would Hansen care, He's Scottish lol

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  54. Jaimie. I assume you agree with Hansen, your tone hints at some type of vendetta against Luiz.

    Luiz is an utter liability. Neville's comment about him paying as if controlled by a child with a PlayStation controller was never as tellingly demonstrated as last night. He kept going AWOL from CB. Utterly irresponsible.....

    As for Brazil, they hired Scolari, allowed him to bring all of his mates to the biggest event in Brazil for 64 years, playing a horrible brand of football.

    Fernandinho deserves a mention for his outrageous fouls on James. They forced Columbia into a street fight and lost their best 2 players.

    Robben , despite the continuation of his career long cheating habits, has been remarkable. He's 30 and doesn't seem to have slowed down at all. It must be the ultra professional attitude of the Dutch prevailing. They will not play unless 100% fit from a very young age

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  55. Agree,Only pity is that 'brains' isn't listed as a Chelsea player,smug gits will take credit for shafting him,

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  56. Personally I'm glad Luiz was hurting, feeling pain and crying like a toddler. Cos that's exactly the feeling I get every time I think of how much that Muppet gets paid for running around and masquerading as a professional footballer.

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  57. Who picked the team? Scolari! Who chose the squad? Scolari! Who chose the tactics? Scolari! Brazil have undoubted quality and in terms of speculating on the players he didn't take many of these have been bang in form for there clubs, playing at the highest level week in week out, I didn't choses the prices paid for the players the market and clubs did

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