7/04/2009 02:25:00 pm

Why Nelson Mandela is to blame for Liverpool's failure to win the league for 19 years

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51 Comments :

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm. An entirely unneccessary article

Jaimie Kanwar said...

Hmmm. An entirely unneccessary comment. How about acquiring a sense of humour?

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha what aload of bullshit excuses excuses excuses thoose desperate fuckers are blaming nelson mandela ha ha ha thanks for the great laugh.............again

Jaimie Kanwar said...

Please tell me you're aware that this article is supposed to be ironic :-O

You don't really believe this is a serious attempt to blame Mr Mandela for Liverpool's failure to win the league...do you?

If so, hopefully you'll be recaptured very soon.

Anonymous said...

You'll never EVER win the league again.

LOL.

Anonymous said...

Extremely interetsing...so if Mr. Mandela kops it.. we would be back in buisness and unless he comes back from the dead... we shall rule the roost at the top of the football world forever...

Ifidadnedbinfermandela.....

Srijandeep said...

You have too much time in your hands, Mr. Kanwar, I'll give you that.

Jaimie Kanwar said...

Indeed. The fact that this is my first article for almost 2 months is clearly a testament to the fact I have too much time on my hands...

Anonymous said...

oh my god. i'm pissing myself at the comments from the bunch of inane fucks that thought this was meant to be taken seriously.

Anonymous said...

Cmon people,, this is just fun as Jamie said it's all tongue in cheek.. though interesting to see Jamie go from

IfidadnedbinferRafa to

IfidadnedbinferMandela..

wonder what all that fuss was about

Anonymous said...

Jamie I think this is the best article you've ever written. Well done.

Anonymous said...

We should get Gerry Dammers to re-write his song, great article.

I think we may have sent a load of fans in red shirts out there to capture him under the disguise of being rugby fans.

Anonymous said...

Buddy, stop being an idiot.

Jaimie Kanwar said...

Buddy, stop being such a humourless curmudgeon.

Mikeys Owens Underpants said...

Dont mind the gimps Jaimie. Top class tongue in cheek article!

Anonymous said...

this article is the closest Jamie has ever come to have some real insight into LFC. I look forward to the next one where Jamie determines that Liverpools 19 year drought is aligned to Steven Gerrard putting his boots on in the wrong order for the last 19 years.

iskoppa said...

Made me laugh that did, cheers Jamie!

Anonymous said...

im May 1990 we won our last title. in June 1990 i married my wife and we have never won it since, so the blame is on my wife, time to get rid of her i think, lol

Jaimie Kanwar said...

Yes, for the sake of the club, divorce has to be an option here ;-D

Anonymous said...

This article is brilliant. I haven't laughed so much in ages.

Anonymous said...

If I'm not wring, Liverpool has failed to win the league with Calrsberg as main sponsor

Bikram Rana said...

Jaimie, please stick to your policy of deleting these idiots' comments. I loved the article. Brilliant. LMAOed.

Anyway, what do you think of Owen to Man U? Gamble, or brilliant move?

Jaimie Kanwar said...

Hey Bikram. I think it's a no-lose situation for Man U. They got Owen on a free on an (allegedly) pay as you play deal. If he doesn't score any goals they haven't really lost anything.

I'm not the greatest fan of Michael Owen but what is indisputable is that once upon a time he was a world class goalscorer. He repeatedly did the business for Liverpool at all levels and for England on the biggest stage.

He may have lost some pace but you never lose that predatory eye for goal and the ability to be in the right place at the right time.

Also, Owne's confidence and hunger will go through the roof now that Man U have signed him. He'll be desperate to impress and will do everything in his power to make the move a success.

I personally think it's a masterstroke by Alex Ferguson. I have no doubt Owen will score goals; he'll get 1000% better service than he did at Newcastle and a hell of a lot more chances.

I wish him well. If he can get back on track and get back into the England team I think it will enhance the national team's chances of doing well at next year's world cup.

I would have liked to see Owen back at Anfield to be honest. Whatever you think about him, he's still a better option than the likes of Voronin and Ngog.

And you just know that the script is already written; he will score against Liverpool at some stage next season, just like the script was written for Robbie Keane to score against us at the end of last season.

let's just hope it's not a crucial goal!

Red Barron said...

Ahhhh so Carlsberg is NOT the best lager in the world..... well, probably! :o)

Anonymous said...

This is a bit like the Andes Plane Crash Cookbook about as funny as a rash - ill conceived and pretty ignorant - I'm ashamed of such sentiments even as a joke

Davor said...

hahahaha top post Jaimie,I laughed like a baby! :)

and to the morons who took it seriously,your stupidity is even more funny than the article.

Anonymous said...

in hindsight it is very easy to find a underlying pattern using numbers with pretty much anything. however using nelson mandela and his jail time during the civil rights movement of south africa for the above is a bit distasteful. why did the author need to use mandela? its a little disrespectful and also the association can be misleading. it might conjure a few laughs however the author would have been able to do that using other means. sorry but a true liverpool fan would have more common sense.

Gautam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gautam said...

"Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly or bear irs troubles patiently"

-Palladas (4th century Greek poet)

busstoped said...

You could also blame Rod Stewart look at this Page http://www.sheetmusicplus.com/title/Storyteller-1964-1990/2939914

Bikram said...

I agree, Jaimie, even if Owen fails, which I don't think he will, it wouldn't have been a gamble because he's so cheap. I was actually hoping Rafa would get Owen as a back-up striker, and somewhat resurrect his career, just like he did with Fowler. But I know one other thing, though, Owen is dead to me. I started supporting Liverpool because I loved Owen, so its a big deal as far as I'm concerned. Of course, now, Liverpool is far greater than the sum of its parts, so even if the whole team and the management departs to our rivals or whatever, its still my team, but I still feel somewhat betrayed.

knight said...

..we are all allowed to take life a little lightly and laugh at ourselves..keeps us sane.
but this article disrespects the great man who is over 90 years old and continues to work for human rights.

Gautam said...

Knight, its people with attitudes like yours which are a major factor to all the intolerance and discrimination in the world. I have read Mr Mandela's autobiography and read from other sources of the man and I can confidently say that he would find this article funny.

mrmzs said...

What an entirely classless article. The irony that the author is trying to achieve is non-existent. Advocating the return to jail of a man who has done nothing just so LFC can win a league is despicable at best. Kanwar you have finally plumed depths of bad taste i never thought could be achieved. Congratulations on possibly the worst example of journalism i have seen in some time. One would hope that the sun would not even stoop these depths again.

Jaimie Kanwar said...

[The Dude] Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man. [/The Dude]

Anonymous said...

how unfunny is this artcile? incredible.

also, has anyone noticed yet that that Nelson mandela was actually free in 1990 when we lifted our last championship. sort of renders teh whole thing rather pointless

Beardo said...

Are you being deliberatly dim? The point of the article (I believe) is that Liverpool have failed to win the title SINCE 1990. Mandela was released in 1990 and that was the last time the club won the title. It's not that difficult to grasp ya know...

Aiyic said...

Many 'anonymous' guys showing their colective 'Borg' mentality. Complete set of sense-of-humour by-pass operations. I love these no-names, who get all offended on behalf of ol' Nelson.

Mandela was released during July or August (haven't even googled that). I remember distinctly because I missed the whole release hoopla, as I was on away on summer-holiday.

Seeing Mickey O in a Manyoo shirt will make a sight I've never had to witness. They had it when we had Ince - but the shoe is on the other foot now. I do hope he does well, but it goes to show how he sees the things. There was never a communal hush when he was being interviewed post-game. Too scripted!

Anonymous said...

Beardo - so erm what your saying is that the league has been won since mandela has been free, no?

Its no sense of humour by pass, its that this article just isn't funny, in the slightest.

anyone who thinks it is, is severely lacking entertainment in their lives

Anonymous said...

We'd be better off jailing all murdering scousers... wonder what the correlation between English clubs murdering fans and Liverpool's involvement in said murdering is?

Anonymous said...

wot a muppet u r.

Anonymous said...

Was laughing so hard I had to close all the windows - thank you Jaimie.

Anonymous said...

Wow.. Id never knew Scousers would swoop that low.The reason you'll never win a PL is because you are pathetic bin dippers.
MUFC 18 TIMES FACT!

alonso said...

who let the dog out.

Nickel said...

<span><span>Jaimie Kanwar! </span></span>What if based on your article  I kill nelson mandela and then later on I find that liverpool does not win the league. I will kill you. There are many like me in this planet. when you get the opprtunity to write stuff please write like a pro. No many are given the opportunity to write on the net.

Guru said...

Just of because <span><span>Jaimie Kanwar a son will lose his dad, a country will lose a great person. </span></span><span><span>Jaimie Kanwar while you have control on what you write  do you have control on  the people reading it and  what's the purpose of writing "* this article is bullshit dont take is seriously" in small characters.
</span></span>

malo said...

Here in africa we are very angry.

Kelly said...

What if we Get rid of <span><span>Jaimie Kanwar by any means. </span></span><span><span>You have angered the supporters of Mandela.</span></span><span></span>

unta said...

ohh, this is fuckiest humour on earth..hahaha

redordead said...

Flipping hilarious article! I can't believe people could take it so seriously.
I'm afraid i have to confess- i am the reason we haven't won the league since 1990. How was i to know then as a little six-year old that i was going to be such a jonah! I am prepared though to make the ultimate sacrifice-i will support man u in 2010/11 season which hopefully will see them struggle to stay in top 4, lose Fergie and clear the way for Liverpool fc finally to reclaim their rightful crown. Please let it work!!!!

Anonymous said...

dumbass. this isn't serious. oh my... what a twunt (twat-cunt)!

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