29 Jun 2016

'Bang Average': Hamann (indirectly) slates £67m Liverpool trio and makes Sturridge Barcelona claim

England's ignominious ejection from Euro 2016 is the gift that just keeps on giving. The Brexit jokes write themselves, the tabloid barracking is comedy gold, and the covetous cadre of Pampered, Overpaid, Metrosexually Meek Millenials (POMMMs) masquerading as footballers are being deservedly lambasted for yet another calamitous tournament catastrophe. England's humiliation also shines a light on regressing standards of the the Premier League, and according to Reds legend Dietmar Hamann, the quality of England's top division leaves a lot to be desired.

Speaking to TalkSport on Tuesday, Hamann pulled no punches in his assessment of England's failure, and indirectly slated England's Liverpool contingent. He scathed:

"Can you see anyone [from the England squad] play for the likes of Madrid, Barcelona and Bayern? Maybe Stones and Barkley. You could make a case for Sturridge and Rashford [but] apart from that, it’s bang average".

Bar Stones, Sturridge, Rashford, and Barkley, Hamann has basically called every player in England's squad - including Reds players Clyne, Henderson, Lallana, and Milner^ - 'bang average', and as a collective, it's hard to disagree.

To be fair, Clyne, Hendo, Lallana, and Milner weren't selected for England's glorious 2-1 defeat to Iceland (something for which they're massively grateful, I'm sure!) but overall, these players are just not good enough to make a serious impact on the international stage.

They're also not good enough (it seems) to push Liverpool above 8th place in the league, but that's hardly surprising. As I've argued many times over the years, a team stacked with English players is destined for abject failure, which (partly) explains why Liverpool have crashed and burned in the league over the last two seasons.

As for England - it's the same old story:

* Players with big reputations from prestige clubs (i.e. Rooney, Hart etc) continually shoehorned into the team irrespective of form, fitness, or suitability.

* Overhyped POMMMs (like Wilshere) included at the expense of those who actually deserve to there (i.e. Drinkwater, who, unlike Wilshere, earned his way into the squad last season).

* Players wasted in the wrong positions (Sturridge and Vardy on the wings, for example), instead of having aces in their places.

* My personal favourite: The mind-bendingly stupid decision to have England's main striker taking free kicks and corners (!)

As Euro 2016 showed *again*, the England team is filled with gutless POMMMs who continually fold under the pressure...and as a proud Scot, all I can say is...long may it continue! ;-D

^ Henderson: £29m-rated. Clyne: Cost £12m. Lallana: Cost £26m. Milner: Free transfer. Combined cost/worth = £67m


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