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24 Sep 2015

'Extremely Happy': The 4 most embarrassing/cringeworthy statements from Liverpool's Carlisle press conference

What an abomination. After last night's lamentable failure to dispatch League Two opposition, everyone connected with Liverpool FC should be embarrassed and ashamed this morning, including Reds legend Gary McAllister, who is quickly being tarred by the brush of Anfield mediocrity as a result of his Rodgers-esque mewling in front of the media.

After last night's crime against football, Brendan Rodgers skipped the post-match press conference, and left McAllister to face the media. As soon as the Scot opened his mouth, though, it was clear that he'd been taking lessons at Hogwash, the Brendan Rodgers School of Balderdash and Bullsh^t.

Let's just remind ourselves of the gruesome details of last night's shambolic performance:

* Inability to score more than one goal in 120 minutes of 'football' against a team with the worst defensive record in the top four divisions.

* Failure to beat (in regulation time) a League Two team that languishes 64 places below Liverpool in the hierarchy of English football. AT ANFIELD.

Bogdan's penalty saves aside, nothing about last night's performances is laudable or praiseworthy, and having 19 shots on target doesn't make up for the fact that Liverpool - after spending £300m in 3 years - failed to beat a team that collectively cost less than three months of James Milner's salary. Despite these things, though, McAllister channelled his inner-Rodgers after the game, and made several risible statements:

* "The players are extremely happy":

Not just 'happy', but 'extremely happy'. About what, exactly? There's nothing to be happy about. The players should be embarrassed about being forced into a penalty shootout by some of the (comparatively) worst footballers in English league football. I don't even class it as a victory; ultimately, it's a defeat for Liverpool FC, and there's nothing glorious about snatching a win on penalties.

* "It's a good night. We've shown a bit of character":

Ugh. Istanbul was a 'good night'. Beating Arsenal 5-1 was a 'good night'. There's nothing 'good' about beating Carlisle on penalties (!) Liverpool are the laughing stock of European football, and last night's travesty simply underlined that. Plus, showing a 'bit' of character should be the absolute bare minimum for all Liverpool players, especially at home. In my view, Ings aside, Liverpool's players showed a total *lack* of character with their failure to (properly) win the game.

* "We’re not up to the speed, and we’re looking for the passing game we’re striving to perform":

It's 8 games into the new season! Liverpool's grossly overpaid and overpraised players have every fitness, coaching, and nutritional benefit at their beck and call, so why are they not 'up to speed' enough to dispatch a League Two team in 120 minutes of football? Even if the team is not fully up to speed, there should be enough quality, motivation, and effort in the team to put Carlisle to the sword.

* "We’ve been asking the players to step forward and take a wee bit more responsibility, putting themselves forward to take on a shot, and we had that tonight. The fact is they kept trying and no-one shied away from it".

This has to be the most embarrassing comment of the lot, and represents everything that's wrong with the Rodgers' regime. It's the 'softly, softly', mollycoddling approach to player management. McAllister et al are so desperate to keep the players onside that they're constantly tiptoeing around the issues.

Poor little millionaires, having to be gently coaxed out of their comfort zones to take a 'wee bit more responsibility' and 'put themselves forward to take a shot'. Jeez, what an embarrassment. This servile pandering to fragile egos needs to stop.

The management shouldn't be walking on eggshells trying to get these characterless playboys 'to step forward' - it should be demanded/expected as a condition of having the privilege of representing Liverpool FC, and any player who 'shies away' from doing their job should be banished to the reserves, or sold forthwith.

Liverpool need a stronger manager/coaches at the helm, not ego-massagers who are terrified of rocking the boat. Say what you like about Van Gaal and his combative nature, but the results speak for themselves. Under the Dutchman, Man United clawed back a 20 point deficit to overtake Liverpool and qualify for the Champions League, and this season, his team are currently second in the league table.

After such an embarrassing capitulation, Liverpool fans don't want to hear vacuous, pandering drivel about how how the players showed 'character' by beating a League Two side on penalties. Fans want the truth, and the truth is this: failing to beat beat Carlisle after 120 minutes is unacceptable, and totally unbecoming a club of Liverpool's (fading) stature.

Ultimately, McAllister's comments simply highlight again one one the biggest ongoing negatives of the Brendan Rodgers era: shameless acceptance of abject mediocrity, and until that changes, Liverpool will sink deeper and deeper into the footballing abyss.

Author: Jaimie K


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